JANUARY 3
Hey brother. Mom had a bad couple of days but tonight she really came to and asked to sit up in a chair. She drank broth and drank some juice. And then i just hugged her and held her and she said she loved me. It was so encouraging because she hadnt really spoken for a few days. I think things are going to be ok. But it is going to take a long time. I hope.

JANUARY 4
Hey everyone,
I just thought I would do a little update on my mom. Thank you all so much for all of your kind words, good vibes, prayers, fasting and love! We are really feeling it. My mom is doing better. Yesterday for the first time in two days she began to really respond cognitively and began speaking to us. She asked to get out of bed and sit in the chair in her room. Most of all she wanted to go home, she cried out a little and I think she realized that she has a long road ahead. It was so very encouraging though. When she sat up last night we fed her some broth and she drank juice. And then I sat and held her and hugged her. It did us both good and when I sat down she told me she loved me. It was amazing. She spoke to all of us and even gave my dad a kiss. After all of that she was exhausted and went back to bed. All three of her sisters have traveled to see her and I think that their presence has made a big difference. Each time she sees one for the first time and realizes that they are there she breaks with emotion and then is tuckered out. We are loving the moments where she is mentally present and they seem to be coming more frequently. Her liver function levels are now around 360 and the other one is much lower also. She is still very sick and it is still going to be a long road to recovery, but at least now we have the hope of her being well again. Thanks again everyone for all of your concern. We love you all!

It is the last day of 2014. Today started out normal. I woke up ornery and grumpy and yelled at the kids when they weren't really doing anything wrong. I got over my mood and let them play with friends and called my dad. My mom has been sick since christmas, but we have been so busy that i hadn't really paid much attention. We also had a really big storm and everyone had phones down so i hadn't talked to my mom and dad for a couple of days. I had tried but they didn't answer. i finally got a hold of my dad. he said my mom was still sick and i told him that i though he should take her to the hospital. if she wasn't feeling better by now then something must be wrong. So he took her after shanea also insisted. i went to the hospital and met them in the ER. shortly thereafter my mom was admitted to the ICU. She is really really sick. her blood was septic from infection. blood pressure so low that the nurse took it several times. and dangerously low blood sugar. but on top of all that she is having some liver failure. they aren't sure if it is temporary or permanent. if it is permanent then my mom will die. i am terrified of that. i am not ready for it. i stayed for about six hours and then i got in my car and cried the entire drive home and prayed to the lord that he wouldn't take her from me. not yet. i need my mom. i want my kids to have their awesome grandmother. my dad is staying the night. shanea had come back by the time i left. but my mom was worse. she knew her name, she knew where she lived. she knew she wanted pills. but she didn't know that it was winter. or that we had just had christmas. she kept trying to get out of bed and leave, and then she gave into sleep just as a blessing was said over her. i know that we will all lose our parents at some point. i accept that, but i just can't bear the though of losing my mom at this point in my life. she is my best friend. she helps me in ways that no one else can. i can completely be my true self around her. i call her everyday and i depend on her in so many ways. please God, please don't let her die.

yay!

I just have to express my gratitude somewhere. Brad got a new job! It isn't anything fancy, it's at Costo. But really I think it is going to work out great for our family. He will be part time for a little bit, but so far he has been able to get more hours everyday than he was scheduled. He goes in really early, 5 am, but that means he is off by 1:30  and we actually get to see him and spend time with him! I am really happy about it. The pay is also more steady than car sales. I am just so glad. I have been praying for something like this for what feels like years. I feel like he will be able to work and go to school and see us. It's a win, win, win! I am off to yoga! YOGA! It has been months! I am so grateful for my blessings. I am. I am.