Tuesday, June 5, 2012

it seems like the last week i have been a bit on a downward spiral. i don't really know why, but i think i have been comparing myself to others a little too much. i try not to do this because it never ends up good, but apparently my thoughts have got the best of me. anyway, i am deciding right now to stop. i am going to try to change my thinking. i am taking a stress management class and i think if i were to take it seriously and do some of the things it talks about i might really be able to change things. i think i have been personalizing things a little too much. like, if i text someone to hang out or something and they text back a one word answer or nothing at all, i am really taking it personally. that's one of the things about technology that i hate. you never know what is really going on or what tone people are talking in. (right now my tone is practical, not irrational). does anyone else ever feel lonely being home a lot? brad is even home right now, but i find myself yearning for female company. for a best friend. one that i can call anytime without an excuse. i have a friend like that, she just lives a million miles away. so that makes it harder and we don't talk as much as we used to. we just aren't in each others daily life anymore. there are a few other things that are adding to my moods of sad, but i never know how much of that personal stuff i can write here. i want to be honest, but not air out all of my dirty laundry online. anyway, there is my life, for this little minute.
on the upside, my kids are the freaking cutest ever. jovi does this little thing where she wrinkles her nose and kind of snortily breathes in... it just cracks me up. and reese, my sweet little reese, his latest is to tell me that he wants to do things for "five minutes" or "three minutes" or that i weigh "twenty-six ounces" numbers are all over the place and he knows all about them. ha! just writing about it makes me feel happy. those two little cuties sure are sweet. tell me to not be selfish and think about stupid things. tell me not to look on facebook all the time. or instagram to see how sweet everyone else's lives are. it just doesn't matter. mine is good, really amazing actually, sometimes i just forget for a minute.


Avree said...

I think we all have our moments like this. Sometimes by the end of the day I sort of feel like I'm going to go insane. It doesn't help to see all the blogs of moms who seem to bust out a child every two years and love every dang second of it. I was just telling Cara it makes me feel like something is wrong with me. Kids are amazing but being a mom is just plain HARD. I'm kind of rambling, but just wanted to let you know you're not alone :)

Mindy said...

you are doing it right sista. i know i get into the mode of comparison, and it sucks.
you always have a friendo here!
and you are more than right. your kids are so freaking cute!! they will make your grey skies blue any day.

Denise said...

I think we definitely all feel this way at times. I know that being home, surrounded my little ones, I also crave adult conversation and a best friend to share things with, rather than just surface conversation. You can always call me if you ever want to chat. And just know, you're in my prayers. I'm sure things can't be easy with your sister right now. I just hope you know you are in my thoughts.

Cara said...

Savannah I just got updated on Facebook about Bean. I am just in shock, this came on so suddenly. I'm just so very sorry. I am praying for you and your family.

About this post, just remember that people's blogs are what they choose to post. If you looked through my blog you would think every day was just rosy. I don't post about losing my temper and yelling at my kids :) And I totally got stood up by some friends via text the other day and it does sometimes make you feel like you're back in high school, ha ha! Just don't let it get to you. I would so hang out with you if we lived close! Love you Sav!

Jill said...

I am so sorry that things have been rough lately. I have felt every.single.thing. to the last word you have felt, so your not alone. Things will look up, it gets easier to not compair , and to establish some good friends. If I were in Utah still I would totally be your bestie :)

I am so sorry for your families loss! Thinking of you!!!!